Day 3 brought in teams from Malappuram, Palakkad, Wayanad, Kasaragod, and Kozhikode - another wave of frontline responders who carry the everyday realities of DV and IPV in their hands. We anchored ourselves in trauma informed practice, survivor centric approaches, the weight of intersectional and gendered marginalisation, and how to hold all of it through L.E.N.S. For us it is simply noticing the "L" ayers pf identities a person carries, how "E" xperiences and power that shape their choices, how "N" eeds differ, and the "S" tructural realities that sit under every story. At Kochi and or now Kozhikode the conference rooms held the same vibrance of women with decades in the field, still learning, still asking sharp questions, still fully present. We played a small throwing game that looked harmless until the pace changed, the consent vanished, and the pressure took over. These were things they could answer even in their sleep, but the moment speed increased, choice disappeared, and hypervigilance kicked in, the body did exactly what the body does. Balls landed on tables, backs, floors, rolled away, and familiar answers suddenly needed checking. There was laughter, and then that sinking understanding of what happens even in a controlled room when pace goes up and consent goes down. The mind forgets what it knows. The body shuts down what it normally does with ease. And slowly that useless, painful thought creeps in: maybe I’m the problem. This is exactly where many DV and IPV survivors have been for mostly years and sometimes even decades. Blaming themselves, doubting their capacity, convinced that struggling with the simplest things somehow means something is wrong with them. And when anyone steps in to support without checking for consent, pace, choice, and readiness, we end up recreating the same nervous system shock. No amount of good intention protects someone from that impact. Support needs rhythm, permission, clarity, and space. A shoutout to the CCRRA team, their interns, and PCVC for making these district rounds possible. Looking forward to Day 4 tomorrow with “do no harm” feminist counselling practice and a few mindful grounding sessions woven in.
