A mother of two , one being severely autistic, has been in regular touch with me on a home progam for years now. However much I explained that a successful program needs more consistent follow up, she continued to call me in desperation only at the nth hour when there was trouble. Two years back I decide for myself that I am done with giving a home program & holding myself responsible for the mess she was creating. Having decided that, all I kept repeating during our conversations were "I understand" & "it's okay" while in my mind I'd grumble - "I neither understand nor is it okay!!!! Several times I even felt like not answering her call coz I knew what was coming. Each time she hung up she would sound most thankful & enlightened at almost everything or rather nothing I said. I, on the other hand felt disgusted with my own program which showed absoultely no progress. Feeling guilty for this nonsensical program of mine, I sent her a long mail asking her to find someone who could help her better. She calls me almost immediately saying. "Maam am sorry to let you down, but each time I called you it was after deciding to kill myself & my child ; each time I had "____" tablets in my hand ready to be popped in soon after ending your call. Thank you Ma'am for picking up my call & not hanging up on me. Each time you said "you understand & its okay" I thought there was hope left & I should try again! If you had not picked up the call even one day, I & my child would never be around to bother u again. Thank you for the great program, please be there!
