As a parent, witnessing our children grapple with challenges can evoke powerful emotions. We can all recall those moments when our infants cried during their initial vaccine shots and the immediate urge to comfort and assist them. While providing solace is an inherent aspect of parenthood, an excessive inclination towards intervention can sometimes unintentionally hinder one of the most precious gifts we can bestow upon our children – the gift of self-esteem. Low self-esteem, when considered in conjunction with other factors, can contribute to various conditions, including but not limited to anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and personality disorders. In the year 2020, there was a significant surge in parents seeking mental health consultations for their children. It is essential to explore the acronym "SELF" to comprehend what has transpired, why it occurred, and how to proceed. S - Solitude: Children need to learn the strength of being comfortable in their own company. The pandemic inadvertently pushed individuals into what was often seen as social isolation, but not many recognized it as an opportunity to slow down and reconnect with themselves. Instead, many turned to social media, seeking validation for every trivial activity at home. Regrettably, numerous schools continued to prioritize subjects over skills. As parents, we must recognize the importance of allowing our children to experience moments of boredom without constantly needing entertainment or structured activities. Specific and balanced praise and criticism are crucial. E - Emotions: All emotions are valid and vital. We should refrain from rushing to console our children when they experience sadness, anger, or fear. Instead, engage with them meaningfully, providing opportunities for exploration and age-appropriate risks. Avoid allowing them to evade routine responsibilities solely for the sake of entertainment. Encourage them to value the journey rather than fixating on external rewards. Teach them that effort is significant, and results may not come effortlessly. L - Love for Learning: Foster a genuine love for learning, which includes accepting that mistakes are part of the process, and it's acceptable to try again when things don't go as planned. Encourage a mindset of continuous learning from anyone, anywhere, at any time. Set an example by leading with an open attitude toward learning. Demonstrate unconditional love to your children, ensuring they understand that your affection is not contingent on their achievements. While helping them become their best selves, remember to cherish who they already are. F - Failure is Acceptable: A robust indicator of a child with healthy self-esteem is their ability to move from one failure to another without losing their enthusiasm. Feedback plays a critical role in showing them how to improve. Emphasize that speed is not always as important as completing tasks. Acknowledge that failure is a natural part of the learning process. Self-care is not selfish; it is essential. Allow your children to witness your self-care routine and understand that taking care of oneself is just as vital as taking care of others.
